Twas The Night Before (A Kettlebell) Christmas

girevoy sport,kettlebell sport,strongsport ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, no athletes were stirring, not even a mouse;  the platforms were packed in storage with care, the buckets were sealed, no chalk dust in air;

The lifters were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of kettlebells danced in their heads; And mamma in her thermal, and I in my ringer, just climbed into bed, where we had planned to linger.

When down in the gym there arose such a clatter, I sprang from our bed wondering what was the matter.  With the goal of surprise now gone like a flash, I flew downstairs like a 40-yard dash.

With a burglar inside, a weapon I needed, so I grabbed a pink 8 and got ready to bean ‘em!  Imagine my shock as I took a quick glance, for there was St. Nick in a lifter’s split stance!

With arms locked out straight and the bar up above, his face in the mirror was one filled with love. He dropped the bar fast and stepped back from the weight and looked around quickly as if he was late.

Then whistling and shouting and calling out names;  “Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!  The look of surprise on my face was complete, when eight reindeer flew in bypassing the street!

And that wasn’t all that I saw with my eyes, a sleigh towed behind them, one average in size, holding colorful bags with lifting supplies!  I saw KettleShields Heavy and KettleShields Trainer, these simple gifts were quite the no-brainer.

But then a bag broke and spilled out with a crash, kettlebells so heavy, the floor they did smash!  Red ones, grey ones, silver and gold;  Those were the ones that I wanted to hold!

My wife at my side and looking quite keen, she pointed at ‘bells yellow, purple and green.  I remember she started with pinks and with blues;  I hoped he remembered her new lifting shoes.

I watched as he worked, not slow but with haste; A picture of strength, not a move did he waste.

Remember that guy? In questionable health?  He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf.

But now he was changed, his belly was smaller, his newfound physique made him look a bit taller.  Moving those kettlebells under the tree, he made not a sound, bottoms-up lifting three!

Then filling the stockings with t-shirts galore, he reached in his bags, it seemed there was more!  Educational programs and videos too, every lifter was sure to have something to do.

Then he pulled on his coat, donned his mittens and hat, jumped into his sleigh and took off like a bat!

And away they all flew, straight down the ‘ole block. Through the new falling snow, man that old guy could rock!  Then I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.  Use your kettlebells daily for health and for might!”

(Thanks to by Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston for the original Night Before Christmas)

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